Double cheeseburger with nothing on but the grease on my fingers — and I'm not even a little sorry about either one. Come take a bite, daddy 😈
Double cheeseburger with nothing on but the grease on my fingers — and I'm not even a little sorry about either one. Come take a bite, daddy 😈
The bakery had cream-filled donuts in the window and I took the whole box before anyone else could. Sitting on the curb with powdered sugar everywhere and cream I can't keep off my face. Come fight me for the last one, daddy 😈
The US Open final is on and I can't look away — somewhere between the second and third set I stopped caring about anything else, including clothes. Come watch the last set with me, daddy 😈
Turns out it's National Chocolate Milkshake Day and this one's already melting faster than I can keep up — sitting on the hood with the sun on my legs and nowhere to be. Come share this before it's gone, baby 😈
Found out it's National Video Game Day and I've been at this controller since midnight with no plan to stop. Just me, this oversized shirt, and a boss I can't beat. Come take the second player spot, daddy 😈
It's Make Your Bed Day and I'm celebrating by doing the exact opposite — these sheets haven't seen order since yesterday and I like it that way. Come make a bigger mess with me, baby 😈
Found out it's National TV Dinner Day and I'm celebrating properly — tray on my lap, something terrible on the screen, and not a single thing on. Come keep me company on this couch, daddy 😈
Found out it's National Wiener Schnitzel Day and I've been making the same joke about it for an hour and I'm not even a little sorry. The beer is absolutely helping. Want to hear my best one, daddy? 😈
Wednesday morning and the only good thing about being up this early is the shower pressure in this apartment. Door's unlocked and I'm not rushing. Come wash my back for me, daddy 😈
Last barbecue of the summer and I'm holding onto this beer and this sun until somebody makes me move. Come sit next to me before the flannel comes off 😏